June 7, 2019

We all know perfectionism to be a bad thing.

It spawns from a high need for certainty. And when we crave certainty, it’s because we’re fearful. And when we're fearful, our monkey brains take over. We avoid risk and pain. We focus on the wrong things. We become insular, and less likely to seek feedback. We learn less. We get in our own way. We miss opportunities. We become more likely to fail.

This kind of perfectionism is all about me, me, me. We focus only on ourselves and our needs. We entrench deeper and deeper into ourselves. And we shrink as a result.

But perfectionism doesn’t always have to be a bad thing.

I don’t think many of us would trust our lives to a “go with the flow” brain surgeon. We want that doctor to be a perfectionist. Same with our air traffic controllers. And the sushi ch...

April 13, 2019

We all want to be successful. That’s why we get up and get going and work hard. And why not? With success comes fulfillment. And happiness. And, let’s not be coy about it, money. Sometimes lots of money.

Who wouldn’t want all that? Who would resist their own innate desire to become successful?

Well, as it turns out, a lot of us. Success is tricky.

Fear of success is one of the most common issues my clients grapple with. After dozens of conversations about it, I’ve come to know that many of us harbor hidden beliefs about success that are actually very negative. These negative beliefs are due to our fear of the change that success will bring – and how that change will mess with our sense of certainty and significance.

The first change we fear is the end of striving. Striving is de...

April 5, 2019

If you’ve been reading this blog regularly, you probably know that Unstuck Leadership isn’t a specific form of action, or a title or even a state of being. It’s a practice. Just as we might have a meditation practice or a professional practice, or perhaps a spiritual practice, the practice of Unstuck Leadership puts us in a constant state of learning and improvement.

Our practice won’t make us perfect. We’ll get things wrong from time to time. God knows I’ve gotten it wrong many times. But with each mistake or glitch or imperfection, we learn and commit to doing better next time. And that commitment requires us to say yes. Yes to growth. Yes to change. Yes to responsibility. Yes to our true selves, and yes to what is emerging within us and around us.

Committed practice is hard. Most of us ge...

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