I hate to tell you this, but your career will most certainly not go to plan.
You’ll be denied that promotion you deserve. Or maybe your new boss will turn out to be a jerk, or a spineless wimp, or a bit of a dumb-dumb. Or maybe you’ll be saddled with a project you don’t want. Or maybe you’ll have a health crisis that will keep you out of the game for a spell.
None of it will be your fault. But the consequences will be yours to live with.
Ten years ago, I sat in a meeting with two of my bosses (I actually had three at the time), as they told me that a product I built and launched and grew to profitability was being transferred to another division of the company. When I objected (because I believed the other division would screw up the product – and they did), I was told that my attitude was un...
Gavin is so close to his dream job, he can almost taste the free office lunch. He’s been through nine interviews in total, some of them with as many as four interviewers in the room. At last, the HR director told him he “seemed like a good fit” and an offer would be emailed in a day or two. Gavin never heard from the company again. The same thing happened to Sara after she was flown to a company’s headquarters and shown where her new office would be.
Sam hired Miranda, a bright, enthusiastic recent grad to an entry level marketing position. She seemed to be getting on well with the team, and Sam was pleased with her work. Then, about three months after her first day, Miranda stopped showing up for work. No phone call, no text, no email. Miranda simply vanished. Sam learned later that she’d...
Let’s get one thing straight right off the top. You are, I’m sorry to say, a ridiculous human being.
Your body makes rude noises. You get terrible, awful songs stuck in your head for days on end. You tell the same stories over and over. You think of the perfect comeback, an hour too late. You’ve zoned out in meetings, then baffled the room with a complete non-sequitur when asked your opinion. You’ve left bizarrely bungled voicemails. You’ve bounced down the stairs on your ass, tripped on your own feet, slipped, slid and flailed about. As a teenager, you said and did things that make you cringe to this day. And my god, have you ever put your foot in your mouth. Too many times to count.
You’re a complete catastrophe.
And that’s hilarious.
So my friend, if you’re harbouring feelings of shame and...